What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How do I rat my boss out for serial cheating on his wife?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why do you think Islam oppresses women when Christianity clearly does it more?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why does Africa have all mineral resources but she is suffering economically?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Can we trust the Bible when Constantine and the First Council of Nicaea took out many books of the Bible and altered existing translation by removing things?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why do narcissists avoid talking about the real issues?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Some men love anal sex more than vaginal sex. Why?

TEXT:

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why cant I breathe when I sleep on my back, I can breathe if im on my side or stomach but I feel uncomfortable since either my neck is twisted or my back is in pain, im physically healthy and my surroundings are clean so whats the problem?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why do so many people find Kakashi's character so appealing and inspirational?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority